Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
