I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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