How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
