guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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