I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
