I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
