How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm having to shit out rocks
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
