At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
