So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
