Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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