Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
