Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
