Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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