look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
