my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
