So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
