yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
