If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
