I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
