she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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