The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
