Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
