i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
