You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He better not be in your backpack
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
