he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
In America we eat man semen.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Randomize
