Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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