We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
