if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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