so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
