Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
