Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
