i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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