Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
