CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
