So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
