Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's like iHOP with fire
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i drank out of a bidet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
