was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
wow bdsm is so cute
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