The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
