we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i believe in u and ur pee
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
