Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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