btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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