i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
