making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
