my mouth tastes like poor choices
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
