New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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