I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
