i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Randomize
