Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
