Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Text me some of your sweat
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
