yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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